Brexit talks break down – well, there’s a surprise…!

Brexit talks not going well

Yes, I know it is late in the day, but it’s been very busy for me today, so I wasn’t able to provide my usual Monday morning Brexit Update. I hope that a Monday evening one will not cause too much of a problem for you.

Of course, I could set up a poll asking people whether they would like the weekly Brexit Update to “remain” as a Monday morning event, or whether I should “leave” it until later in the day. But I can predict the result already – almost 50-50.

The past week has seen the inevitable – the breakdown of the talks between Mrs May and Mr Corbyn. Interestingly, if you take the words Theresa and Jeremy and mix them up you get what the Prime Minister answers the phone with “Jester May Here”. I suspect that every time Jeremy rang her to arrange a meeting, that’s how she answered because all along she was telling Labour “my way or the highway” and quietly sniggering as she knew that Labour would not agree.

That means Mrs May can now blame Labour for any further problems. And boy, has she got problems. The Brexit Party is leading the polls for this week’s EU elections. Tory Grandee Lord Heseltine has said he will vote Lib Dem, resulting in the Conservative whip being removed from him (painful..!). Plus, Mrs May has to deal with the fact that there are now two separate “official” Conservative campaigns in the elections – one for “One Nation Conservatism” and the other from “Blue Collar Conservatism”.

If any of this had been put into the script for a movie it would have been laughed all the way out of Hollywood as being too ridiculous for words. I can hear Mr Spielberg saying “Don’t be absurd; no-one would believe any of that. I can get people to believe that a tiny extraterrestrial has landed on earth and needs to phone home. But getting people to believe all this nonsense would happen in the “mother of parliaments”, don’t make me laugh.”

But it is no laughing matter. It’s deadly serious. So serious that Mrs May has now agreed that she will provide a timetable for her departure. But mark my words, her timetable will not set a date. She will talk about vague things such as “when Phase 1 is over” and then she’ll say something like “shortly after that”.

She has promised a fourth meaningful vote. Yes, a fourth one. Head. Brick wall. I don’t want to worry you, but it will fail and that means this will not be the last vote. It will come back, again.

I wonder if she is going for some kind of Guinness Book of Records achievement? How many do you think she can squeeze in before October?

Image: Now It’s Parliament’s Turn to Lead Brexit Delusions | There’s no “seizing control” of this disaster. flickr photo by Tiocfaidh ár lá 1916 shared under a Creative Commons (BY-ND) license