You couldn’t make up this Brexit nonsense if you tried

Once upon a time...

This morning my wife Cathy asked me “What on earth are you going to say about Brexit today? Nothing has changed since last week.” Like all good husbands, I told my wife she was correct. But, don’t tell her I said this, she is wrong. It is not the case that nothing has changed since last week. The truth of the matter is that nothing has changed since June 2016. At that time the majority of MPs were “remainers” – that is still the case. Three years ago, most of Parliament was against “no deal”, which is still the situation. And in the 159 weeks that have passed since the referendum, MPs have been unable to agree what they mean by Brexit. But that’s the same position we were in about 40 years ago. Nothing has changed in a very long time.

However, one thing has changed — the age of the Conservative Party membership. The people who will decide our next Prime Minister during the next two weeks are now 40 years older than when all this fuss about the EU really began. Back then, they were young, dynamic, thrusting idealogues. Now they are white, elderly gentlemen, who are living in the past and want Britain to be the way it was when they were lads. And before I say more about this unrepresentative electorate, let me point out the mistake of the British media saying that the next PM will be chosen by 160,000 people. That is not true; only a simple majority is required. Hence our next PM could be selected by 80,001 individuals – meaning 99.99% of us do not get a say in the future direction of our country.

According to the latest polling of this unrepresentative bunch of old has-beens, Bonker Boris will win by a landslide. This is the man who has needed British Ambassadors around the world to intervene to prevent him from the further embarrassment of the nation. He is the man who spent hundreds of millions while London Mayor on follies such as the “Garden Bridge” which haven’t seen the light of day. Plus, he is the man who will not rule out closing down Parliament so that he can get his own way of a “no deal”. Oh, and he is also the chancer who the day before he said he wanted to leave the EU had written an article endorsing the benefits of remaining.

Now, though, we hear good news from current Government ministers. There are 30 Tory MPs who will vote to bring down the Government should we be approaching “no deal”. There are also, apparently, several existing cabinet members who will not serve under a Johnson Government. We can, therefore, look forward to Boris appointing a group of “yes men” to his inevitable temporary position as PM, which will consequently seem more like a dictatorship.

And if this is not bonkers enough, should he lose then Jeremy Hunt will let those old Tory toffs who are deciding our future to bring back fox hunting. It was interesting to see therefore that Liam FOX is backing Jeremy HUNT.

As I have said several times, you just can’t make this stuff up…!