Brexit is not a walk in the park

Brexit - is it a walk in the park?

Last week, the mysterious master of the mayhem emanating from Downing Street, Dominic Cummings, was recorded as saying “Brexit is a walk in the park”. The next day he was challenged about that and was recorded as saying “Who said it was like a walk in the park?” The journalist said “You, Mr Cummings” to which Dangerous Dominic merely replied “No”.

Either the chief adviser to Boris has an abysmal memory (which is not suitable for someone advising at such a high level), or he lied. Fibbing is not new to Number Ten or Boris. We should not be surprised. However, in spite of the entire nation knowing that Bonking Boris has a strange relationship with the truth, he still enjoys widespread support. Millions of people appear to think he is doing the right thing.

When asked why they believe that, you get the mantra that is now the slogan of this week’s Tory Party conference – “Get Brexit Done”. Boris is loved by people who are prepared to set aside the fact that he doesn’t tell the truth. They are also willing to forgive him involving The Queen in his shenanigans. And these people are happy to let him stay as Prime Minister in spite of his dubious personal life, all because he looks like he will “Get Brexit Done”.

But that is also a lie. Even if Brexit happens on 31st October that is not “getting Brexit done”. All that will be is the start – not the end. If there is an agreement, then the law opens up a two-year period whereby all the elements of the deal are put into place. Effectively, we remain within the EU for another two years.

If there is “no-deal”, all that will happen is that all of the EU laws which currently cover the UK will remain in place. There are tens of thousands of them, and they have all been subsumed into a single Act of Parliament. It means that “no-deal-day” causes us to still operate under what were once EU laws, but then become UK laws. Nothing changes. Except for trade, cultural arrangements, and the movement of people. All of that becomes much more difficult – some of it impossible until new deals are put in place (which could take years).

So to “Get Brexit Done” is either going to take a minimum or a further two years (if we get a deal) and decades if we leave with “no-deal”. Boris and his cronies are merely telling fat fibs again by suggesting that it will all happen on 31st October. It can’t.

It is all very reminiscent of Trump. Remember “build a wall”? He made it sound like it could be done over the weekend. So far, only 60 miles have been built – and that’s primarily been repairs to existing fencing. Also, while Trump was talking about his wall, women were talking about his wandering hands. Now, we find Boris using the “build a wall” tactic with his “get Brexit done” mantra. And this weekend in the newspapers we also see women talking about Boris’s wandering hands too. It’s like a mirror image, and I am beginning to wonder if the scientists who made “Dolly the Sheep” all those years ago had also been experimenting with human cloning, and we’ve ended up with two bonkers blonde blokes. And when they made them, the scientists said: “Golly a Creep”.

Unlike the American political system, though, ours has a few more options. This week could see a confidence vote being tabled and debated at precisely the time Boris is due to give his speech at the conference. Such fun…!

And if that doesn’t happen, there are rumours that a new law will be created allowing the Speaker of the House of Commons to ask the EU for an extension to Article 50 instead of the Prime Minister. According to news reporters based in Brussels, European leaders are really – I mean really – peed off with the UK. Who can blame them? So that would mean either no extension granted or a very long one of at least a year

If all of this is a “walk in the park”, then I am never going into a park again. It’s far too frightening.; it’s full of creeps. Golly.