Is Boris playing it too cool with his oven-ready Brexit strategy?

Brexit ice sculpture

We’ve had a few icy blasts this week. First, the temperature dropped and we’ve had several mornings where we’ve had to de-ice our cars. If you look at the weather maps it is clear that the cold weather is across Europe. So, once we have left the EU we’ll get more control over our weather. It’s so obvious. Meanwhile, Boris was too busy (doing nothing) to attend the Channel 4 debate with other party leaders. He was replaced by a melting ice sculpture as a symbol to the damage the environment is doing to the ice caps. The third icy blast came in the form of a YouGov survey which uses different methods to standard polls. The poll used the same methods as in the YouGov poll which accurately predicted …

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A “fatcheck” for Brexit porkies

A fatcheck for Brexit porkies

Last week we saw the Tory party being (yet again) utterly stupid by rebranding their Twitter feed as a “FACT CHECK” page. They wanted to imply that they were independently checking the facts. It just showed them up as devious and inept. There are several independent “FactCheck” websites and online services if you want to find out whether a politician is lying. However, today I am launching a “FAT CHECK” where I grade the parties according to how many big fat porkies they tell about Brexit. Think of it as an “obesity grading” for the parties. The more porkies they tell, the fatter they are. Boris Johnson appeared in two TV debates in the past week where the same question came up. Effectively it was “how can we trust you …

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Boris tries to mop up Brexiteers

Mopping up the votes in Brexit election

Viewers of BBC 1 Breakfast News were given a treat this week. They witnessed the haphazard and hilarious attempts by Boris Johnson to help mop up a flooded floor. He clearly had no idea what he was doing. But that’s probably not news to you; he appears to have little idea about much. The mopping mayhem happened in his feeble attempts to win over the voters affected by flooding in the north of England – that well-known Tory stronghold…! What he was hoping, I imagine, was that he could mop up the Brexiteer votes. Nigel Farage decided this week to abandon his two-day-old promise of standing in every seat. Instead, he said he would not allow the Brexit Party to stand against the Tories. This is as bonkers as Boris. …

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Prepare yourself for loads of Brexit fibs in the election campaign

Truth and lies about Brexit

In Northern Ireland last week, Boris reached new heights of brazen bullsh*t. He told what was a small group of Tory supporters that there was no need for any customs documents from Northern Ireland because of his fantastic Brexit deal. He even went as far as to say that if anyone told businesses any different, they should call the Prime Minister who would tell them to throw away the customs documents they had been asked to complete. There are several things wrong with Boris’s rant. First, by saying that people could call the new Prime Minister, he is assuming that in a few weeks that he will be PM. That’s far from certain. Secondly, what Boris said was the complete opposite to what his Brexit Secretary told Parliament in response …

Read morePrepare yourself for loads of Brexit fibs in the election campaign

Boris reckons he’ll have Brexit wrapped up by Christmas

The race is on for sorting Brexit out by being the first to get to Downing Street

We all knew it was coming and, sure enough, Boris pushed through a bill in Parliament to allow a General Election to take place in just 38 days from now. It should not go unnoticed, though, that in spite of suggestions to allow 16 and 17 year-olds to vote, this was blocked. Strange that Boris himself was elected by such teenagers as they were allowed to vote in the Tory leadership contest a few months ago. One rule for Boris, another for the rest of us? Boris’s plan is to get a stonking great majority so that he can push through Brexit without opposition. Sound familiar? Yes, that’s the same plan Theresa May chose last year. Whatever happened to her? You may have noticed that Boris is just repeating what …

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Halloween horror for Boris’s Brexit

Halloween horror for Boris's Brexit

It’s going to be a nightmare week of horrors for Boris and his botched Brexit plans. There will be no treats for him, or us this week. And he’ll try playing several tricks, which are doomed to fail. Brexit clearly will not happen on 31st October, in spite of Bonking Boris saying it will definitely happen and if it doesn’t he’ll be dead in a ditch. What is guaranteed is that on 1st November, when Brexit hasn’t occurred, the radio and TV stations will be playing clip after clip after clip of Boris saying that Brexit would definitely happen on 31st October. You only have to remember Theresa May’s failed attempt at Brexit in March. She repeatedly said that it would definitely happen back then. It didn’t, of course, and …

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Schoolboy error by Boris on Brexit

Eton college

Yesterday you could almost hear the “ner, ner, ne ner ner” taunting from Bonkers Boris after he “didn’t” send the required letter to the EU requesting an extension of the Article 50 deadline. “Super Saturday” turned out to be anything but. Instead, it was “Shambles Saturday” because the latest Withdrawl Bill was stopped in its tracks by an amendment put forward by “Leaky Letwin”. (He once claimed over £2,000 as “Parliamentary Expenses” to repair a leaking pipe under his home tennis court.) The acceptance of the amendment meant that the “Withdrawal Agreement Bill” could not proceed and so Boris would have to obey the existing law and send a letter to the EU requesting an extension. (By the way, did you know that in parliamentary circles the “Withdrawal Agreement Bill” …

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There is more than one pathway to Brexit

Multiple pathways to Brexit

Apparently there’s a pathway to Brexit. We know because Boris the Bonker told us so. Last week, he spent the day at a wedding venue near Liverpool where he had met Dr Leo Varadkar to sort out the UK’s divorce from the EU. He didn’t appear to spot the irony. Indeed, he probably didn’t spot much because the pictures show Boris walking through the woodland staring at the ground, while Lanky Leo (6ft 4in tall) tried to make eye contact. There is, of course, a pathway that the Irish Taoiseach wants to follow. He has spotted Boris’s plainly poor plan of blaming everyone else for a botched Brexit. If Dr Varadkar had emerged from his final talks with Bonkers Boris all glum, it would provide ammunition in the coming weeks …

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Boris’s Brexit plan might work: and he does not want that to happen..!

Brexit and the Northern Ireland border

Boris the Bonker has a problem: it looks like his plan to leave the EU before 31st October MIGHT be able to happen. And that was NOT the plan. His plan was revealed in an interview on BBC Radio Four this week. It turns out he confided in the interviewee a couple of months ago about his real strategy. The plan is to confuse, to bluster, to promise to leave but make opposition MPs angry and the EU even more frustrated. That is intended to either halt Brexit or to force another delay. Boris will then be able to turn to the country saying, “Look, I promised, but I was unable to meet my commitment to you because I was stopped by the dreadful MPs and the horrible EU”. His …

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Brexit is not a walk in the park

Brexit - is it a walk in the park?

Last week, the mysterious master of the mayhem emanating from Downing Street, Dominic Cummings, was recorded as saying “Brexit is a walk in the park”. The next day he was challenged about that and was recorded as saying “Who said it was like a walk in the park?” The journalist said “You, Mr Cummings” to which Dangerous Dominic merely replied “No”. Either the chief adviser to Boris has an abysmal memory (which is not suitable for someone advising at such a high level), or he lied. Fibbing is not new to Number Ten or Boris. We should not be surprised. However, in spite of the entire nation knowing that Bonking Boris has a strange relationship with the truth, he still enjoys widespread support. Millions of people appear to think he …

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