The most powerful person in Britain now holds keys to unlocking Brexit deadlock

Jo Swinson holds keys to unlocking Brexit

Well, what a week it has been. We have witnessed a political party elect a new leader and for that individual to become the most powerful person in the land. This person was the run-away favourite to win. So it should not have been a surprise to you when Jo Swinson CBE was announced as the new leader of the Liberal Democrats. Within her first day in office, she said ten words which have propelled her into the most powerful individual in the country. Yet few people appear to have noticed it. She said: “I can work with Labour but not with Jeremy Corbyn.” This single sentence could change the face of British politics in just a few weeks – and, in the process, reverse Brexit. The reason for that …

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It’s fishy business for Brexit this week

Boris Johnson talks fish nonsense on Brexit

Fish are going to feature somewhat centrally this week to my report. Stick with me, there is a reason. If you saw the last TV debate between “Boris The Liar” and “Jeremy The Entrepreneur” you can’t have missed the kipper-waving moment. It was typical Bonking Boris theatre. However, what he told us – and for which he got cheers and applause – was just a blatant lie. He said that the EU was forcing British businesses that sent kippers in the post (daft idea anyway) to wrap them in a cooling gel. As is so often the case, Boris didn’t bother to check the facts. The requirement for British fish-shipping businesses to wrap their products in cooling gel comes from the UK Food Standards Agency and has nothing to do …

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Prime Ministerial candidates talk bunkum not facts on Brexit

Who is telling the truth about Brexit?

It’s taken all day to think about writing this week’s update. However, I don’t suppose you really mind. After all, I expect that many people have spent the day celebrating the England victory in the Cricket World Cup. So, wondering what the latest thinking on Brexit is has been far from people’s mind’s today. The England Cricket Team is a testament to diversity, as well as team success. Several members of the team are of Asian heritage. One comes from South Africa, and the captain was born and raised in Dublin, Ireland, an EU nation of course. This international and culturally mixed team will not be noticed by those “hard line” Brexiteers, of course. They will just be saying today that once again England has proven it is the best …

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You couldn’t make up this Brexit nonsense if you tried

Is Brexit just a story?

This morning my wife Cathy asked me “What on earth are you going to say about Brexit today? Nothing has changed since last week.” Like all good husbands, I told my wife she was correct. But, don’t tell her I said this, she is wrong. It is not the case that nothing has changed since last week. The truth of the matter is that nothing has changed since June 2016. At that time the majority of MPs were “remainers” – that is still the case. Three years ago, most of Parliament was against “no deal”, which is still the situation. And in the 159 weeks that have passed since the referendum, MPs have been unable to agree what they mean by Brexit. But that’s the same position we were in …

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Brexit uncertainty could reduce your energy

Which way is Brexit?

The other evening, I was in a theatre alongside 1,350 other people. We were enjoying a comedy show. The audience was asked, “Are there any Brexit supporters in the house tonight?” Only a handful of people shouted back, which is telling in itself. Quick as a flash, though, the comedian said “Well, you do realise that after October you are going to have to wash your car yourself?” which got a huge laugh and applause. But it’s not a joke. There is a real chance that Europeans who currently work in the UK – doing more than washing our cars – such as being surgeons and university lecturers – may decide to leave Britain. Yes, I know there’s also a chance they’ll decide to remain (which if they had been …

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Shock news: Bonking Boris lives next to a Guardian Reader

Boris Johnson has argument at home

Well, it has been quite an exciting week, hasn’t it? It ended up with the police being called to Bonking Boris as his neighbour rang 999 after hearing a major row. What was surprising for Boris about this, though, is that the neighbour also alerted the press. The fact that Boris lives next door to a Guardian reader must have come as a real shock to him. As predicted, Boris is in the final two to become our next Prime Minister. He’s up against Jeremy Hunt, who is so devoid of any facial expressions he always looks like a ventriloquist’s dummy. I just wonder who he’s being controlled by. So the nation faces a choice. Either we will get a man in charge who has a disorderly private life and …

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Could Theresa May ditch Brexit in a bid for dancing superstardom?

Could Mrs May replace Brexit with Strictly?

Another Monday, another week gone by, another seven days of no progress. Yesterday saw the publication of a study which showed that 75% of the population reckon that politics is “broken”. Less than 5% of the people in the survey had any confidence in our current political system. And it’s all the fault of Brexit, according to this research. I remember when David Cameron announced the referendum that there was much discussion about its impact. Several commentators said it would be divisive, that it would lead to the destruction of the Tory party and that it could even lead to the break up of the United Kingdom. Those commentators were told they were “scaremongering”. Last night saw the first debate amongst the Tory leader hopefuls – minus Boris the Bonker. …

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Will we “love” our new Brexit leader?

How many people are in love with Brexit?

It’s Monday again, so it’s Brexit Update time. Firstly, thanks to everyone who has met me in the past week to say how much they like this little weekly report. I appreciate it. Indeed, at a party on Saturday evening, several people spoke to me about my Monday morning update. Inevitably the conversation swung round to the contest that is now facing the country. More than a dozen candidates are vying for the winning position. Most of them we have never heard of before. Yet, they are all going to be on our TV screens for the next six weeks trying to gain attention and secure that top slot. I am, of course, talking about the nation’s most crucial leadership election for the past 12 months. Just who will win …

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Groundhog Day for Brexit

It's Groundhog day for Brexit

Yes, I know it’s a Bank Holiday and you should be having a nice relaxing day in the sunshine forgetting all about Brexit. But it has been a rather momentous week, so it is time for an update. The first thing to say is that Mrs May completely fooled me. This time last week I was saying she was going to be vague about her timetable for resignation. Then she only goes and does something that I was unable to predict. She did, as I said, bring back her deal. But I had no idea that she would tinker with it to such an extent that it would alienate the opposition and most of her loyal supporters at the same time. It takes a special skill to be able to …

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