Boris’s Brexit plan might work: and he does not want that to happen..!

Brexit and the Northern Ireland border

Boris the Bonker has a problem: it looks like his plan to leave the EU before 31st October MIGHT be able to happen. And that was NOT the plan. His plan was revealed in an interview on BBC Radio Four this week. It turns out he confided in the interviewee a couple of months ago about his real strategy. The plan is to confuse, to bluster, to promise to leave but make opposition MPs angry and the EU even more frustrated. That is intended to either halt Brexit or to force another delay. Boris will then be able to turn to the country saying, “Look, I promised, but I was unable to meet my commitment to you because I was stopped by the dreadful MPs and the horrible EU”. His …

Read moreBoris’s Brexit plan might work: and he does not want that to happen..!

Shock news: Bonking Boris lives next to a Guardian Reader

Boris Johnson has argument at home

Well, it has been quite an exciting week, hasn’t it? It ended up with the police being called to Bonking Boris as his neighbour rang 999 after hearing a major row. What was surprising for Boris about this, though, is that the neighbour also alerted the press. The fact that Boris lives next door to a Guardian reader must have come as a real shock to him. As predicted, Boris is in the final two to become our next Prime Minister. He’s up against Jeremy Hunt, who is so devoid of any facial expressions he always looks like a ventriloquist’s dummy. I just wonder who he’s being controlled by. So the nation faces a choice. Either we will get a man in charge who has a disorderly private life and …

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Could Theresa May ditch Brexit in a bid for dancing superstardom?

Could Mrs May replace Brexit with Strictly?

Another Monday, another week gone by, another seven days of no progress. Yesterday saw the publication of a study which showed that 75% of the population reckon that politics is “broken”. Less than 5% of the people in the survey had any confidence in our current political system. And it’s all the fault of Brexit, according to this research. I remember when David Cameron announced the referendum that there was much discussion about its impact. Several commentators said it would be divisive, that it would lead to the destruction of the Tory party and that it could even lead to the break up of the United Kingdom. Those commentators were told they were “scaremongering”. Last night saw the first debate amongst the Tory leader hopefuls – minus Boris the Bonker. …

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Seven days closer to Brexit and still no progress made by politicians

Brexit Day October 2019

So, here we are again, another week has gone past, and we are seven days closer to that October Brexit deadline. And no progress has been made by our political leaders in sorting out what will happen. When the new Halloween Drop Dead Date for Brexit was established, Mrs May left Brussels with the words of the EU ringing in her ears: “You have an extra six months, use that time wisely.” However, in the first half of that extra time, nothing has happened. Mrs May did plan to bring back her deal for a fourth “meaningful” vote, but was blocked from doing so and had to resign. Indeed, the Conservative Party has been without a leader for several days now. I am not sure I have noticed the difference. …

Read moreSeven days closer to Brexit and still no progress made by politicians

Brexit talks break down – well, there’s a surprise…!

Brexit talks not going well

Yes, I know it is late in the day, but it’s been very busy for me today, so I wasn’t able to provide my usual Monday morning Brexit Update. I hope that a Monday evening one will not cause too much of a problem for you. Of course, I could set up a poll asking people whether they would like the weekly Brexit Update to “remain” as a Monday morning event, or whether I should “leave” it until later in the day. But I can predict the result already – almost 50-50. The past week has seen the inevitable – the breakdown of the talks between Mrs May and Mr Corbyn. Interestingly, if you take the words Theresa and Jeremy and mix them up you get what the Prime Minister …

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Will the elections change the direction of Brexit? Some hope…!

Downing Street Sign

It’s two weeks since my last “Monday Morning Brexit Update”. That’s because last Monday was a Bank Holiday, so I had a day off from Brexit. I expect you enjoyed the rest too. They say that a week is a long time in politics, so two weeks must be massive. Except it isn’t. Here we are, two weeks on, and nothing has changed. Mrs May is still sticking to her “my deal is the only way forward” mantra. Mr Corbyn is still having pained expressions on his face from the splinters up his bum as he continues to sit on the fence pretending that his party is not a “remain” party. The talks between the two “leading” parties continue to get nowhere as Mrs May says “my way or the …

Read moreWill the elections change the direction of Brexit? Some hope…!

No bright ideas from Mrs May on Brexit despite walking holiday

No bright ideas on Brexit from Theresa May

Well, here we are again, another Monday and we’re still in the EU. This week not a lot has happened. Mrs May came back from her walking holiday where she obviously had no bright ideas. (Frankly, I’m not sure she has ever had any bright ideas.) She has been remarkably silent in the past week since Parliament returned. The polls continue to surge for the Brexit Party. However, a certain Mr Corbyn needs to read the polls too. They show that two-thirds of Labour voters want to remain in the EU and that most want another referendum. He continues to sit on the fence. Strange that, because Mrs May likes sitting on fences too. Perhaps it goes with the job of being Party leader. Oh hang on, that can’t be …

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Time to send UKIP into outer space

Could we get rid of UKIP?

It may be a Bank Holiday, but Brexit still lumbers on. Our MPs, bless them, have been having a rest after all their hard work huffing and puffing at each other. Meanwhile, Nigel Farage has launched his new Brexit Party and a poll this week showed that they and UKIP would get significant numbers of votes in the European Elections due on 23rd May. I am dumbfounded as to how UKIP manages to get supporters when one of their candidates said that he “would not even rape” the Labour MP Jess Phillips. He has refused to apologise and the UKIP leader has also said it was an acceptable thing to say because it was “satire”. If that’s satire and acceptable, then I’m an alien and I, for one, would be …

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Theresa May ploughs a lonely furrow for Brexit

Theresa May ploughs a lonely furrow over Brexit

Well, here we are again, Monday morning and time for another update on the unending saga that is Brexit. Last week Mrs Theresa “No deal is better than a bad deal” May set off to Brussels to ask for a further extension for Article 50 as she had been instructed by Parliament to do so as “no-deal” had been taken off the table. So, Mrs May is left still clinging to her bad deal. We know it is a bad deal because it has been comprehensively rejected by MPs on several occasions. Still, she ploughs on in her lonely little furrow. She came back to the UK after a couple of days in Brussels declaring that she had negotiated an extension of Article 50 until the end of October. That …

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We’re still in the EU 10 days after Brexit should have happened

We tried to leave the EU but we're still there: no Brexit

Well, here we are, 10 days after we were supposed to have left the EU and I am writing another “Brexit Update”. Don’t blame me. It’s Mrs May’s fault, so any letters of complaint should be sent to her. Talking of which, I heard on the radio yesterday that the letter she sent to Mr Corbyn inviting him to the “national unity” talks set out the parameters for conversation. She listed two requirements (according to the person who had seen the letter). Firstly, the withdrawal agreement could not be amended and secondly, the political intentions document could not have a single word changed. So, there you have it. Mrs May’s position for the “national unity” talks is still “my way or the highway”. Interestingly, in Westminster this week, we witnessed …

Read moreWe’re still in the EU 10 days after Brexit should have happened